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|Naruto FanFictions - Ask The Akatsuki
Name - Ask The Akatsuki
Author - Mahou Inu Alex
Ask The Akatsuki
-Akatsuki lair, 3:30 pm-
Alex: HI EVERYONE! This is the Almighty Doggy Demon Overlord, DDO for short. I-m here to introduce to you one of the most greatest victims in Naruto.
Tobi: OI Alex-sama! How are we victims?
Alex: Isn-t it obvious. A group of guys, no girls, crazied fangirl ideas.
Akatsuki: -hiss- THE YAOI IT BURNS!
Alex: Okay since I announced their weakness, lets get on with the intros. Who-s first? My favorite Akatsuki member and pretty much the only person I-ll cosplay as so far. ITACHI-SAMA!
Itachi: -sighs- Fine. Uchiha Itachi, currently title -Uchiha pimp-.
Alex: You mean shy girl rapist.
Itachi: -veins pop- Watch your mouth Baka Inu. One of the last Uchihas, likes sweets, dislikes losers like my foolish little brother and Orochimaru. I loathe yaoi. And also I-ll most likely only do a anything if it involves me getting pussy.
Alex: (o.o-) Okay. Pervert. Next person. She-s able to have a fivesome with her three mouths and her manko.
Deidara: (-.--) I-m a guy dumbass.And you make me sound like a manwhore un.
Alex: He looks like a semi-manly version of Ino. Sells dildos made out of clay. Its Deidara, everyone-s bitch. Even for girls.
Deidara: SO I-m the bitch no matter what, un!
Alex: Yep. Now introduce yourself.
Deidara: (WTF did I even do to him!?) Deidara. 100 percent man. NOT A WOMAN GOD DAMN IT!
Alex: he-s going to do it! -covers eyes-
Akatsuki: -turn away-
Deidara: -pulls pants down- SEE! THIS IS NOT A MANKO! -pulls pants up- Now you authors better stop making me a god damn woman in your stories!
Alex: -uncovers eyes- You make it sound like a curse.
Deidara: Shut up, un! Likes, clay, beer, girls and porno. Dislikes are people who hate art, people who say my art looks like shit.
Alex: But it does.
Deidara: GO PISS ON A TREE YOU STUPID DOG! My catch phrase is, ART IS A BANG UN!
Alex: Un this, un that. Un un un.
Deidara: -shakes fist- I also hate loud mouth idoits like Tobi.
Alex: -shakes fist- DON-T DISS TOBI BITCH! AND DON-T EVER HIT ME AGAIN! -dog ears pop out-
Tobi: (T.T) Deidara-sempai is mean and Alex-sama is switching personalities again.
Alex: -smiles- Well then why don-t you go Tobi-kun.
Tobi: HI EVERYONE! This is the good boy of the Akatsuki! TOBI-KUN! Origin unknown.
Alex: Isn-t it obvious that you might be Ob-
Tobi: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! Grr.
Alex: HEY! I-m the one that does the barking.
Tobi: Village unkno-
Tobi: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! Attacks soon to be revealed. Current special attack. BEING A GOOD BOY! OH! Likes. Alex-kun... Dislikes-
Alex: Wait the only person you like is me?
Tobi: -goes chibi- YES UN! Dislikes are... Deidara-sempai.
Deidara: WHY YOU LITTLE! -runs at Tobi-
Alex: -flicks Deidara-s eye- Touch Tobi-kun and you die.
Deidara: Grr. Baka Inu.
Tobi: -smirks under mask- (I knew that would get him. Heh.)
Alex: Moving on... SASORI-KUN!
Sasori: -waves- Sasori. Currently known as the dead bishonen. Owner of Sasori-s house of smex.
Alex: Its sex Sasori-kun.
Sasori: I want to attract fangirls, so I-m saying smex. Likes... Fucking puppets made out of women. Dislikes... pie-
Alex: -demonic voice- YOU HATE PIE!
Sasori: (0.o-) I-i-i-i wa-was jj-j-just lyi-ying.
Alex: Okay. NEXT! Its a blue fish man from Mars. -dodges brick wall- Who the fuck in their right mind tosses a brick wall?
Kisame: -glares daggers-
Alex: What I meant to say was... Mermaid- gets crushed by a steamroller-
Alex: -crawls out of the steamroller- Just introduce yourself Kisame-san.
Kisame: Hoshigaki Kisame. Origins-
Alex: Father was Jaws-
Kisame: -kicks me into a wall- A HUMAN! GOT IT! Likes are fish-
Itachi: YOUR A CANNIBAL!
Kisame: -bitchslaps Itachi- DON-T INTERRUPT ME BITACHI! Likes... Ehh fuck it-
Alex: -stands up- What girl would want to fuck you anyway? -gets kicked into an oven- ...next. -crawls-
Kakuzu: Kakazu. Master of tentacle porn. Likes money and tentacle porn. Hates are religious fags like Hidan.
Hidan: Ehh fuck off faggot.
Kakuzu: My dream is... TO DIRECT MY OWN TENTACLE PORN AND BE IN IT!
Alex: (-.--) That was a bit disturbing. Lets see. Leader is missing. So... ZETSU-KUN!
Zetsu: -pops out of the ground- Can I eat the dog now?
Alex: -glares- Hey did someone forget to water that pansy?
Zetsu: I-m not moved by your insults. Zetsu. Origins-
Alex: His mother was raped by roses.
POW! POW! SMACK!
Alex: I thought you said you weren-t moved by my insults.
Alex: DON-T IGNORE ME!
Zetsu: Likes... Humans... Dislikes...
Zetsu: ... Next.
Alex: I-M THE ONE RUNNING THIS SHOW! Now since there-s no one else.
Hidan: There-s me you retarded bastard.
Alex: Fine. Go I-m getting bored.
Hidan: (Janshin-sama, please allow Alex-s life to be filled with misfortune.) Hidan. Likes are sacrifices, blood and Janshin-sama-
Alex: -whispers- a made up god.
Hidan: -veins pop- My dislikes are...
Alex: AH! He-s getting tongue tied. Lets get a close up at that vein on his forehead.
Cameras: -zoom in on Hidan-
Hidan: FUCK THIS SHIT! -pulls out scythe- DIE BITC-
-insert static effect-
-five minutes later-
Alex: Great! Now we-re down to one camera. Are you even listening me Hidan?
Hidan: -sarcastic tone- Oh what was that. I was praying to my made up god.
Alex: So you finally admitted it.
Hidan: Shut up. Atheist.
Alex: WHAT WAS THAT!? Oh well who gives a fuck what he thinks. Lets see. Rules... OKAY HERE-S HOW IT WILL GO! For the rules of this fic your allowed to ask any questions to any of these victims.
Akatsuki: STOP CALLING US THAT!
Alex: Don-t even think of holding back. Also if you want you can dare them to do your bidding. Also we will have a special guest every week... Well you guys understand what I mean. So start asking anything you want. And as for our special guest star, you can ask anything you want him or her to do.
Itachi: And how can they ask the guest a question before they even get here?
Alex: Just say -To the guest:- or something like that.
Zetsu: And why are you doing this to us?
Alex: The Akatsuki needs more humor, you guys are to busy being dark, serious, etc. You need comedy. Like Tobi.
Tobi: I-M A GOOD BOY!
Deidara: That-s because he-s retarded. Like squirrels.
Alex: I-ll try to ignore that. Anyway besides asking for less errors and misspellings, you-re allowed to ask for anything.
Sasori: I think I-m betting off dead. It fines like i signed my soul away to the devil.
Alex: Remember. Tobi-kun is a good boy, don-t hurt him, and you might be able to take him home as a pet. OH YEAH! And our guest will be... New York from Flavor of Love!
Akatsuki: EEWWWWWWW! NOT THAT FAT TRANSVESTITE LOOKING BITCH!
Alex: Just kidding. I-m not that cruel. BYE BYE WOOF!
Дата публикации: 14.01.2008
Прочитано: 3706 раз
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